Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Aha moments: Experiencing the self in and out.


This summer I had the chance to go to the Czech Republic, Germany, and Sweden. It was much needed. Seeing new places reminded me that the act of experience is indispensible in regards to finding answers for our questions. When we are surrounded by newness we tend to utilize different aspects of our character in order to balance it with unfamiliarity. However, with new experiences we also receive confirmations in regards to other aspects of our character. Aspects that will never be questioned in terms of their direction or validity, after the respective experience. Prague provided this for me. I went to Europe having a few questions in my heart and while some of them remain somewhat unanswered, I have found answers to the most important ones.

There are few times in my life where I have felt that something is fully and completely "right" the way I had felt during my travels in Europe. While I have, many times, been far into myself, it took a travel far away for my self to experience this "rightness". At times, I am positively sure that we do not receive answers simply because we do not really need them. Moreover, we do not really experience our questions and without experiencing our questions we seldom develop a true awareness of what we are seeking for. What good would answers serve in this situation?

Both inner and outer experiences have been building up towards a very special moment I had this summer. I choose to call this moment Harmony. I was in a good place living a moment that suddenly turned a switch on. I had a personal a-ha moment as to who I was, and it was an a-ha moment because I could finally let go of something that was hindering me from being my full self. I understood that I was holding on to an idea or concept that had long ago finished teaching me the lesson I needed to learn, and that I now...can move on with my life and take care of the other important questions I have.

My experiences in Europe have also taught me that we seldom notice the chains we have around our own feet because we choose to live a still life. We like to think of ourselves as being central to life and forget the importance of going somewhere where we can feel small, and finally, many times we seek to have an experience with a certain outcome, an experience laced with expectation, and become disappointed when our experiences end with a different result than what we previously had in our minds. I found that when I let myself experience whatever happens to me at a present moment, I am led to understand much about myself. I am not left with the familiar frustration of unfulfillment, instead a welcome surrender to flow.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The inexpressible.


Lately it feels as though I have been living my life on the surface. I going through duty after duty only to receive more duties. I feel as though I am not doing what I should be doing and that I have been in the same spot for far too long. I begin to think of my personal evolution, the direction of my character, what is important and what is unimportant. And the two things that are occupying my mind are: I) What does it mean to be the best version of yourself and how does one get there? II) What does it mean to communicate with God? How does it feel? What is it that people aspire towards? and what is their motivation. For anyone who might be reading this, I would appreciate your thoughts, ideas and words. Listening to those around me has often been what has inspired me most, considering that we are all on a journey of self-actualization. Whatever that means (0:

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Memento Vivere

"You should go and talk to someone"
says a worried one to me when I tell my story...
about eating breakfast with my imagination and bathing naked in a sea.... caught in a hurricane... this morning.
But what the worried one did not understand
is that it can sometimes be very entertaining...
to be roommates with Mr. Creative...
because it is he he he that likes to take the mini-train...
from my utmost Inner...
& and down to my utmost holy...
and its there that Desire lives...
which has became my new living philosophy.
losophy, osophy, sophy.

the other day I scheduled a date with Toil and Trouble...
and its in this little house south of my escuela...
where I wanted to file a divorce from both...
because it was so tearing...
to not know whom I loved most...
Trouble because he is so exciting to live with...
and Toil because he is so charming...
to listen to when...
Simon & Garfunkel sing loud to the confused & pretentious...
oh this beautiful place...
that has been my dwelling...
for far too long.


And yesterday I came home from the seminary of Availability...
for all of us that sometimes disappear
to the land of opportunity...
and hey, hey you!
and have a good time
until. the. next time, we speak.

I prayed to. the trees.
To take my words like DHL packets...
high high up to the stars...
Where all my feelings can be carried...
to a place...beyond dreams and thoughts,
where I can run back into my own arms again...
to the fragment in time
where being a child is law.
With thoughts. like. colored pin up notes....
flying...like kites.

There is music in every heart that sorrows...
where laughter is a taught lesson to those who cry...
it lines our self-pitying margheritas.
With reminders
that there is also apple pie.
We must be like children in winter,
sticking out our tongues…
hoping…to catch a droplet of wisdom,
from the Pitcher of Patience.

The Tao of inner what?
The Tao of Pooh who?
now that’s a funny road map of do all that you ever wanted to do....
follow your qi....what about tea?
hmmmm I think Spring is here,
look how easy it is for those leaves to unfurl...
not forgetting how to live...
Fumbling towards the ecstasy of a full bloomed tree.