Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Aha moments: Experiencing the self in and out.

This summer I had the chance to go to the Czech Republic, Germany, and Sweden. It was much needed. Seeing new places reminded me that the act of experience is indispensible in regards to finding answers for our questions. When we are surrounded by newness we tend to utilize different aspects of our character in order to balance it with unfamiliarity. However, with new experiences we also receive confirmations in regards to other aspects of our character. Aspects that will never be questioned in terms of their direction or validity, after the respective experience. Prague provided this for me. I went to Europe having a few questions in my heart and while some of them remain somewhat unanswered, I have found answers to the most important ones.

There are few times in my life where I have felt that something is fully and completely "right" the way I had felt during my travels in Europe. While I have, many times, been far into myself, it took a travel far away for my self to experience this "rightness". At times, I am positively sure that we do not receive answers simply because we do not really need them. Moreover, we do not really experience our questions and without experiencing our questions we seldom develop a true awareness of what we are seeking for. What good would answers serve in this situation?

Both inner and outer experiences have been building up towards a very special moment I had this summer. I choose to call this moment Harmony. I was in a good place living a moment that suddenly turned a switch on. I had a personal a-ha moment as to who I was, and it was an a-ha moment because I could finally let go of something that was hindering me from being my full self. I understood that I was holding on to an idea or concept that had long ago finished teaching me the lesson I needed to learn, and that I now...can move on with my life and take care of the other important questions I have.

My experiences in Europe have also taught me that we seldom notice the chains we have around our own feet because we choose to live a still life. We like to think of ourselves as being central to life and forget the importance of going somewhere where we can feel small, and finally, many times we seek to have an experience with a certain outcome, an experience laced with expectation, and become disappointed when our experiences end with a different result than what we previously had in our minds. I found that when I let myself experience whatever happens to me at a present moment, I am led to understand much about myself. I am not left with the familiar frustration of unfulfillment, instead a welcome surrender to flow.